Getting a divorce involves many people’s conflicting emotions. Even the parents who opted for it may feel regret or bitterness mixed with relief. Children may experience sadness and anger tempered against the relief felt at seeing their parents live in a more comfortable setting of their choosing.
Of course, moods may swing and change at any given time. Parents must bear all this in mind and manage the new circumstances as circumspectly as possible. Usually, this means settling practical concerns quickly and amicably while protecting your child’s emotions as they adjust to the new setup.
These things may be easier said than done, so let’s check out a few practical tips that may help recently divorced parents.
First, the Legally Required Basics
Separating parents must agree on two things, dividing parenting time and choosing which parent gets decision-making power about things like health and education. Each separation is different, and parents will approach these things according to how they feel about each other and, hopefully, their child’s best interests.
First, parents will agree to a formal schedule listing the times when their child is in their care. It could be a 2-2-3 split, with the child spending two days with one parent, two with the other, then spending the weekend with the first. In this arrangement, the children alternate weekends, spending lots of slow time with each parent.
Perhaps the child lives in one primary residence while the other parent gets some designated time, too. The decision will reflect everybody’s interpersonal relationships while prioritizing the child’s psychological, physical, and emotional well-being.
When deciding where they’ll live and who will make decisions, try to see the issue from your child’s eyes, even if you can’t discount your adult perspective.
Professional, Amicable Dispute Resolution
Everybody wins when the separation is smooth and amicable, especially the child or children. Divorcing parents must put aside any potential animosity they may feel towards each other and collaborate for their child’s sake, if not their own. This is true no matter the children’s age.
Working with collaborative lawyers like the Tailor Law family law firm helps establish a holistic environment since they also prioritize their client’s emotional needs, not just financial goals or winning parental rights. The idea is to advocate for everything a parent needs, including an empathetic approach for each client.
Even when feuding parents feel vindictive towards each other, they aren’t served by protracted court battles marked by hostility. A professional resolution minimizing bumps in the road is always better for all parties, especially the kids.
Find a reputable family lawyer you feel comfortable with specializing in this niche.
Do What Your Child Needs
Parents going through a divorce may feel beset by their own emotional troubles. Still, they need to rally themselves and prioritize what their children need to provide for them a stable, reliable set of routines.
Children thrive in structured environments and may feel off-kilter or anxious around uncertainty. Make their routines stable and healthy by prioritizing their needs above all else. If one parent has a notable strength, let them use it to benefit their children. This balanced approach is hopefully reciprocated.
Be mindful that these needs may change over time and that the schedule and arrangement you agree to now may be modified as they grow older or special events or emergencies arise. If and when things like birthdays, holidays, or illnesses arise, just make sure they have time to adjust their schedule and process what’s happening.
Marriages are complex and can be heated when they end. Hopefully, the split helps both parties move on, and each parent is determined to work together for the sake of their children.